RHYMES 'N' PUNS 'N' SHIT

by LOSTBOYEVSKY

/
1.
Drawing pictures of myself, call me Frida Kahlo Hoping everybody loves me, Ray Ramano I play the bongos, feast upon a plate of nachos Zany gato climate shifting see my mangy poncho Blaze cilantro till skies no longer seem grey Mildly ashamed I used to listen to greenday This is Hakim Bey clandestine dream spray To cleave chains and breathe flames at those who deceive Jane Doe. Probably mutilate your Gucci shades Queef on your satin sheets then bounce down to Uruguay Or some shit. I'm sincere plus jesting, checkmate Launching Roman candles at pastors who pontificate Omnipotaint, like ever-present nad-skin Batshit, wild thornberry I got rad kin The lad wins at cards against humanity Listening to Busdriver playing final fantasy Rabid beasts found in online comments sections Quote unquote discussion is clusterfuck upon inspection Onto next one immanentize the eschaton! (Loud prophetic) Nah jk just satirize the upper eschalons on some Onion shit, Americas number 1 news source Or rebel like Camus, that means you too, dorks! (Weird loud) Fuck guillotines, water boarding, and lobotomies Let's build a global village via open source ecology Cop an Earthship or... Geodesic dome Bucky fuller swag on the Neolithic clones Forreal go Google Valhalla movement Joe Let's kickstart a greenhouse, post up in New Mexico Get them solar panels, plant up shrooms and cabbage quick Trill Self-sufficient like on some Edward Abbey shit Piss off the front porch, live minimalistic Brew craft beer, go organic, no frozen fishsticks Egads, the masses will probably say we're bonkers While they work all year long just to spend it at Yonkers
2.
(Chorus x1) Started from the herd now we ubermensch Started from the herd now my cohort's fucking uber Started from the herd now we ubermensch It'd be pretty cool if we could really be ubermensch Overmen, overwomen, word to Nietzsche Hurdle human nature so quick you couldn't see us Used to be camels and lions, now we kids yo Emphatically fucked off all dragons, sorta mythical More rebellious than Camus, broader than Shamoo Contain multitudes like Whitman, flow like Danube Will to power game too beastly Like Friedrich freaking a chica in a tricked-out Sebring The hyperrealest, call us Baudrillard Hahahaha, JK, irresponsible, so DR (Das Racist!) Brought back more notes from the underground than Fyodor Got shot in the chest but kept speaking like we were Theodore Roosevelt, verily with Vonnegut's endurance Plus no regrets like we were prepared for eternal recurrence American misfits, Flannery O'Connor, thought you knew us! Declaring more gods deceased than Zarathustra But still soarin' (Soren), we're Kid Cudi Kierkegaards More cryptic than Derrida, peep the differance And hairier than Karl Marx, check the stubble, dude Pale kings infinitely jesting, DFW Young Shel Silversteins indulge superfluous play Plus we'd walk away from Omelas faster than Ursula K Innocence plus experience, Will Blake as the sidekick Metamorphosizing but Kafka couldn't write this World not too much with us, make Wordsworth proud Forever memorable protagonists like Goethe's Faust Carl G. Jung couldn't classify our archetypes Oscar Wilde wit, we're feeling kinda snarky, right Controversial as Leary, making fools hecka livid Operation: escape the doll house, someone dial Henrik Ibsen Weirder than Edgar Allen, write in deranged voices Better portraits of the young artists than James Joyce's Live more deliberately than Uncle Thoreau In touch with sexualities unknown to Foucalt Like Asimov conjur space worlds with flying saucers In Dream visions more fantastic than those penned by Chaucer Forest-beauty-nature-gasms akin to John Muir And we shout messages more urgent than those of Paul Revere The psychos analyze more enigmas than Freud With a passion for social justice, W.E.B. DuBois Style of rap colder than a Jack London winter Not homophobic, would probably smooch Allen Ginsberg (Chorus x2) Started from the herd now we ubermensch Started from the herd now my cohort's fucking uber Started from the herd now we ubermensch It'd be pretty cool if we could really be ubermensch
3.
Gadzooks, Dragonball Z on a Macbook Wow, Japanese anime on a Macbook In YouTube in Internet in a Macbook Damn, what the fuck is a Macbook? I'm drinking beer, watching Vegeta fight Kid Buu Shit's beautiful like El Prado; that's in Madrid fool Lost boy, a joker who plays super metroid Why you so serious like Cell if he had hemorrhoids hah Move through a strange place where water's branded Dabble in cryptic language, ponder the sanskrit Life too momentary to miss out on delicious sleep Prefer dreamscapes; you don't know the one-sixteenth Hah, that's one half to the fourth power Aim to use rhyme to erect my own Korin tower Sometimes feel I live in a Macbook have you seen the stars? jumpin' jehosaphat, look! It's like Shenron skeeted on the night sky But shout to modems, routers, and reliable wi-fi! I'm building a doomsday device out of LEGOs And commissioning a stegosaurus to tow my winnebago Plans to go Rufio somewhere over the rainbow Eat a bagel and shudder at thoughts of John and Jane Doe Word, maybe I could be an eternal Gohan Child-mind chilling on a marble that floats bra Huhhh, Dragonball Z on a Macbook Whaat, I'm Android 18 with this Macbook Wow, Google owns Youtube, Macbook Damn, how'd we make a fucking Macbook? Woah, Bulma birthing Trunks on a Macbook Whaat, just spent 8 hours on a Macbook YouTube advertisements on my Macbook What's the message of this medium? Macbook Love the Internet, but most of it is pretty vapid Often rap naked, but pics or it didn't happen Hope I can still act ridiculous as a geezer See me being iconic and a little off like Pisa Also looking foolish and plotting schemes like Freeza Or maybe those Namekians who thought up Giza Like who the hell decides to construct a pyramid? People are surreal, from Saiyan to Puritan On my iPhone listening to Why? - Fatalist Palmistry Murmur the song on my palm until they coffin me Channel Master Roshi to see through the flim flam And compose musical stimpacks like the kid Dan You know, the 3030 Automater? I know no things; moon brain full of fatal craters Can you believe whales subsist off of krill, man? Sometimes I feel inadequate like Krillin Lightspeed world sometimes irritates me But then other times feel right like Super Saiyan 3 I don't know, man, it's simulation and illusion But remain calm and fornicate with your confusion Zoinks, zensu beans on a Macbook Woah, ghost of Steve Jobs, Macbook Damn, we could all be connected by Macbooks Wow, I think I love you, Macbook Dude, Internet snake way on my Macbook Man, Apple corporation, Macbook 1,000 US dollars for a Macbook Wow, I think I love you Macbook ("I love you too, LOSTBOYEVSKY" [female robot voice])
4.
03:34
(quietly) major forceful style lava macho when i gotcha rhino horn light saber after hours wafting through the wanna disco ball and criminal behavior . . . VERSE 1 The type to read a Lorca poem then play Gears of War Or listen to Paul Barman while contemplating dinosaurs Diplosaurus, one of five open Wikipedia tabs But right now I'm tweeting about intercourse and beast fat Diseased raps, I think I'm loonier than Raoul Duke This is a failure to communicate, Cool Hand Luke But say anything! Celebrate chaotic thought sparks! Dadaism, human trafficking, Joaquin Phoenix, Walmart INSTALL ART in illegal or unlikely places Baffle, disrupt, encourage spike lee phases We could all stop what we're doing and make out Abandon the city, buy pianos, create sounds Confession: I lack a soft spot for concrete and steel Claustrophobic in these crowds, At times forget how to feel Only because art nurtures what is human Am I not a barcoded cyborg in a bad sci-fi movie Only because art nurtures what is human Am I not a barcoded cyborg in a bad sci-fi movie (they're coming for us!) Be a weirdo, disrupt the culture's bullshit Or leave altogether, you know, like Thoreau did Every little thing is gonna be hunky-dory Abide like the dude, find your own satori Be a weirdo, disrupt the culture's bullshit Or leave altogether, you know, like Thoreau did Every little thing is gonna be hunky-dory Abide like The Dude, find your own satori Conduct avant-grade experiments to discern a sweeter boysenberry Might release a songbird-themed album entitled "Moist Canaries" Or get on my Henry David and move where the trees reign Eat a garden of funky mushrooms and discover what free means Call me a hippie weirdo but you should know I'm beyond labels And in touch with old magic like the dudes in those Elrond fables I think I'm Lord Byron and Lauryn Hill's love child Reviving the archaic---i fuck with peace pipes and sun dials But I'm also Dostoyevsky, minus the Christianity With a dash of Tyler the Creator's outrageous-yet-candid speech Dismantle my mandible but you won't quell my kilowatts I tend to rain from the sky and appear dead when I'm really not In a chilly hostile universe I evolved to reach sentience And built Machu Picchu, don't even mention it The greatest thing since Arnold's grandpa said "Never eat raspberries!" Dastardly, I'm Karl Jaspers meets ManBearPig But enough about me, let's talk about existence folks Wait, I think I was doing that. Did you listen close? But enough about me, let's talk about existence folks Wait, I think I was doing that. Did you listen close? Be a weirdo, disrupt the culture's bullshit Or leave altogether, you know, like Thoreau did Every little thing is gonna be hunky-dory Abide like The Dude, find your own satori Be a weirdo, disrupt the culture's bullshit Or leave altogether, you know, like Thoreau did Every little thing is gonna be hunky-dory Abide like The Dude, find your own satori
5.
Fools' Facebook profiles are like life advertisements "Don't you want my shit its all so happy and vibrant!" And profile pictures are fakest smile contests Like damn, life gets fucked up sometimes people, be honest But fuck it all let's watch another fail compilation The hyperreal is chill, dig the simulacra and simulation I'm neo-Rousseau meditating on social media social contracts "Let's agree to never see each other except on that . . . Twitter Vine Pinterest Google Plus Snapchat" Dudes like "look I'm cool look! two females and a snapback!" Perhaps that's whack; it's hard to say like episcopalian Buzzfeed lists are... um, the opposite of salient Your first world problems sound absurd like flying newts If you post those petty whinings I'll probably hide you Post radical shit; the NSA might come and find you But we accept the spies, hmmm... sign of the times dude Social networking might be elaborate Foucaldian biopower This new world is strange like Eddie Valentine on Rocket Power "Follow me!" "Friend me!" "Find me on LinkedIn!" Innovation of Loneliness; you should let that sink in Christians spamming evidence of their dedication to Christ And I just got back from rehab for my addiction to "likes" I share therefore I am; call me digital Descartes Humans love candy crush saga but hate art I earned my pHd on Wikipedia; I stay smart in the 'United World Nations of Google and K-Mart' (automaton) Nannas snapping selfies, call them Instagrandmas What an unreal progression of inventions since the camera Who could have foreseen it? And where does it all end? Papa Zuckerberg saying "Now we're alllll friends." (creepy voice) Chatter all day long to forget that we're puny and dying Perhaps a real Deltron Zero will devise a supervirus Headline: INTERNET CRASHES, 14-YEAR-OLD BRAINS MELT Could we go back? Would life seem like a lame hell? People are products now; yeah, that's pretty wacky YOU MAD BRO? No, I'm not Helga G. Pataki The hella irony is that I'm certainly in this land too I just like asking questions; forgive me for the rant dude I'm browsing /r/philosophy asking, "WHAT'S SIGNIFICANT?!?!" Wondering how Nietzsche would live if he were in this shit
6.
KFC double downs, pepper spray, moonshoes 4chan.org, lawn sprinklers, Juicy Fruit P90x, BasedGod, Finn and Jake, spray tans Cheese whiz, vicarious eating, Reddit karma, waistbands SnapChat, snuggies, Tao Lin, Shopko Segues, 3D printing, legalized pot smoke Electric chairs, Earthships, Stanley Kubrick, whippits Plastic light sabers, poke buttons, Honda Civics Pet foxes, visectomies, RPGs, quasars Parkor, Google Earth, BBG, gay bars Mousepads, commercial jets, euthanasia, Vyvanse Trust funds, skateboards, Internet rehab, iPads M16s, tourism, surrogate mothers, Fishsticks Ceiling fans, Mars landings, weblogs, heuristics Dark matter, slip n slides, ouija boards, .gifs Suicide cults, germex, hyper-fame, facelifts X-games, watergate, Wes Anderson, life coaches Holographic charizards, giant TVs, Spike Jonzes Trash islands, Daniel Day Lewis, academia Insomniacs, emoticons, Selfies, bulemia
7.
A lady was sure all that glittered was gold And she bought a boatload of Twitter stock so She could buy a penthouse, spend her days in a nice spa Surrounded by servants, numb on Jose and Midol Stock market crashed she shot herself at an art show Everyone thought no, she was so smart though No compromise rhymes, compliments of Rorschach Poor chaps can't catch him all, Snorlax More (w)raps than ancient mummies, don't think I'm too sane, but life seem to need me, so i must maintain Do some cool shit before you're dead Do some dope stuff before you turn to bone dust Do some cool shit before you die Do some cool stuff before you get your skull crushed I'm with my panda friend Demetrius, watching waking life Little do we suspect an intruder with a quaking knife A shattering noise we twirl I scream "who's there?" Gads is that Julias Caesar, in women's underwear? "Come. See. Conquer." He drones in a robotic song Bollocks it's a roman automaton in an exotic thong "Think fast," I holler, and chuck a destructo disk But he deflects that shit like lint with a knuckled fist Chuckling even, sheesh, we got a real swashbuckler The demon grins wide, calls us cum sock sucklers Demetrius scowls and conjurs a spirit bomb Blasts that fearsome metal tyrant to kingdom come A real humdinger, but the apartment's in shambles At least we're together, D , camaraderie surely ample Do some cool shit before you're dead Do some dope stuff before you turn to bone dust Do some cool shit before you're dead Do some cool stuff before you get your skull crushed Do some cool shit before you're dead Do some dope stuff before you turn to bone dust Do some cool shit before you're dead Do some cool stuff before you get your skull crushed
8.
loony rap art rap joke rap protest rap existential-mystical-cageism-death rap Umm I say we should probably occupy all rap in the age of instant ballsacks and online sky mall-crack I modify maps under monikers merely rocking a monacle Melodies melt like Mount. McKinley in a Martian molten malotov Medium and message so mixed Marshall McLuhan might misconstrue em Metabolize menstrual MCs with more might than moody Medusa Machinate malware to mangle megacorporations With mild maneuvers manifesting metastasis Mindfully mingle and ménage à trois with moist muffins In the mystery machine then unmask malicious muggers Who would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for us meddling kids Mostly monotone on the mezzanine with a non-malevolent miss who might be Mandy Moore we're watching Mojo Jojo by moonlight while manufacturing almond milk she's mooing like a moose might Hah not a maimer just a meta, mischievous mongoose A cute kid who tries angles these others squares are obtuse
9.
Pale blue dot Earth show me the way cuz mankind kinda makes me scowl Pale blue dot Carl Sagan Carl Sagan Carl Sagan Carl Sagan Uh you know what mankind is... dumb and violent I mean we're talking about the idiots who crucified Christ, kid Not to mention Dr. King and Malcolm X. What's life, kid? Apparently not much to so-called advanced bipeds But really I'm not here to write peace like Einstein did I'm probably too... jaded to even think we could find it But if we wanted to chill we might look to Carl Sagan Watch the cosmos and drop the not-so-gnarly rayguns Peep quasars, photons, black holes, white dwarfs, leptons, pulsars, antimatter, tight quarks... "Damn, I guess we're all floating on this cool rock Bizarre vast void, and we're on a pale blue dot Every human ever took shits on this random sphere, Thanks Earth, for orgasms, cannabutter, and dark beer Rad, we all fap in the same fragile ecosystem (orgasm noise)" Hah let's just look at the stars, man, peep the physics on the Pale blue dot Earth show me the way cuz mankind kinda makes me scowl Pale blue dot I'm feeling a little beat like the dude who wrote Howl Pale blue dot Man, what should I do now? Existence is strange Pale blue dot Guess I'll chill like Earth and avoid these human games To the warlords, rapists, torturers, dictators, yeah like Trujillo ("cherish the pale blue dot") To the oppressive and corrupt who get rich while others suffer... ("cherish the pale blue dot") We're apes hurtling through space at 1100 miles a minute While building weaponry that could reduce us to spinach I'd say we're the... almost nearly extinct Cro magnons like whatever: we fuck, we don't think Now I don't mean to suggest I'm a blameless saint in this Or to try to convert deists to agnostics or atheists I just need to say the way mouse needs cursor the way humans need murder that's the way I need Earth bruh So here goes my weird jam for the space era They say you can rap about anything except for Terra That means it's cool if i'm wailing "Turn down for what!" But if I talk about existence I get turned down and hushed Well if this does diminish my ethos, and we remain assholes like Benito Maybe some dude'll still grab my burrito so I can just visualize Countless forms of life on one floating pebble in the sky Pale blue dot Earth show me the way cuz mankind kinda makes me scowl Pale blue dot I just dream of peace like that one bearded dude who wrote Howl

about

"RHYMES 'N' PUNS 'N' SHIT" is a play on "Crime and Punishment," the classic novel by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. This album is about the void.

credits

released March 3, 2015

mastered by: Amizu - soundcloud.com/officialamizu

cover art by: OGALALA / Christopher Kerouac

mixes by: Amizu, shini❦gvmi, Jesse White

beats:

1. shini❦gvmi 2. Hot Sugar 3. BIG BABY GANDHI 4. WOLFSHIRT 5. Darq E Freaker 6. OGALALA 7. _gyms 8. gloggy 9. Gold Panda

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LOSTBOYEVSKY Villa Las Estrellas, Antarctica

lao tzu's seventh cousin thrice removed /// wizard

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